So I took the girls for Starbucks and then to the mall where Ava ended up getting some VS and Bath and Body stuff. I picked up some Bath and Body stuff for my mom and for my good friend Bobbie (in Georgia that I’m going to mail).
Of course, I was telepathically talking to Elon ever since I saw this post on Bethany’s FB page. It became #Abvious that the only person wealthy enough to make Bethany Schools to raise a Texas flag today, could be Elon himself. And somehow I missed the memo that this happened last year too. Where the hell was I?
I’ll seriously have to think about how the rest of our conversation unfolded today, but on my return home, Elon said, “It’s time to start writing this, Shauna. We will want to read it eventually.”
So here I am, dumping some thoughts so I can expand later.
I have no idea if I am really telepathically talking to Elon, or if the “deals” I try to make as an “influencer” are just a state of my crazy. Honestly, I think I just make a lot of stuff up. I do hear voices, but other people have imaginary friends too, right? My voices are not mean. They usually encourage me to do things and help me with my confidence. The main person I talk to is Elon, but sometimes Agamemnon, or #RyanintheStupidPants shows up. There are others too. Usually men that I think, “I’d like to have one like that.” And by that, I mean a man that wants to be my best friend, wants to do do things together and take care of ourselves together and is emotionally mature. I’m convinced that more and more, there will be technology to allow us to live (virtually) forever…. regrow teeth through stem cells, devices to make our brains overcome Alzheimers, and many advancements in both homeopathic and robotics medicine – as well as insert our consciousness in virtual metaverses for future generations to learn from. I’m down for all of that if and when I find someone that will work on self preservation WITH me.
My marriage is void of that. I’m second to my husband’s workplace (and even though the Kobold Lounge is really cool, it still sucks to play second fiddle), and then third, fourth, fifth and sixth to the kids. He has no desire to take care of himself, or encourage me to do the same thing. I need someone that wants to get their steps in with me every day. I’m not saying he’s incapable of that, but I haven’t experienced it yet. He’s got 2.5 – 3 years to figure it out. Until Haze graduates we’re keeping the in-district house. We are partially separated now, I’m staying most of the time with my parents.
Or maybe I’ll just be a sufi with a lot of good friends forever. Hopefully my heart can handle that.
My husband told me the other day, “What happens when you’re 75 and your perma-crazy, and have no one to take care of you?”
My response, “I’m perma-crazy everyday now, and I’m doing just fine.” And also, “What happens when you’re 55 and loose your legs because you won’t wear compression socks now?”